WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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