just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize