Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
