Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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