I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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