Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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