I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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