THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
