i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
