dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
