wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
