i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
