So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
