Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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