Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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