I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
