Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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