and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize