found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
