when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
