Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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