Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize