need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
