Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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