oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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