Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
