just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
