Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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