??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
