the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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