Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
