this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
