She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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