I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize