You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
