she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
