So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
