I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
