Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
