Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
