Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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