Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
