his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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