He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
