i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize