no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
