Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
