found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Congratulations! We have a period
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