You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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