so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
