We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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