ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
