8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
