is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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