the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
