Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
