if you like me you must not know who I am
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
