Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
my poor anus
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