Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
