So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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