Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
