remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
