I could have mohawked her pubes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
