he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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